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The Astonishing Secret of Awesome Man
Michael Chabon
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He's barrel-chested and square-jawed. His hair is impeccably coiffed in a stylin' pompadour with a Cool-Whip curl. He wears a shiny mask, a trim body suit, and a bright red cape. He's AWESOME MAN!
He is super strong and can smash right through the time barrier. He can shoot positronic rays from his eyes. (Bad robots hate that.) And his powerful grip will stop a runaway train or a giant mutant Jello alien! HE IS AWESOME MAN!!
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But being a superhero is not all fun and games. Sometimes, he'd just like to stop and call his mommy. And when he gets mad, he can't just start hitting stuff, because he'll hurt somebody or smash up a city or something.
Then all he can do is retreat to his underseas Fortress of Awesome, sit on his twin bed, and wrap himself in a “ginormous Awesome Power Grip.” It calms him down right away!
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